Leads (rhymes with needs) should be the magic force, pulling your reader into your story with charm, creativity, or pizzazz. Look to the pros for help writing alluring leads:

• ESPN stories
• Vitamin Water labels (seriously, they’re hysterical)
• Ads for cars, colleges, and everything in between
• Trader Joe’s “Fearless Flyer” papers

Leads have taken a whole new turn over the past few years. Find an old journalism textbook from the 1970s and you’ll see a list of “acceptable” types of leads like the rhetorical question, the summary, the quotation, etc. Check out a solid list here with some very nice examples: http://strivepr.com/2007/03/04/top-7-leads-to-hook-readers/

However, like everything else in our culture, writing has also evolved and loosened up. Where it was once forbidden to use the 2nd person familiar (talking to you, the reader) it is far more common and acceptable. Advertising has had some role in this change, along with companies trying to reach out to the younger demographics.

To practice this style of writing, turn to professional pieces and use an exercise called “copy change” or “style modeling.” This is where you start with a piece of text and then swap out the old nouns, verbs, adjectives for new ones. In this way you retain the original style of the writing—the meter, repetition, grammar formulation, etc.—and make it fit a new situation.

Here are a couple of examples:

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From ESPN Magazine:

Check out that Internet athlete. That’s him boarding the bus, a gym bag slung over one shoulder, a laptop case hanging over the other. Inside that leather case is the life he once handed over to his sport. The family he kissed goodbye that morning. The friends he can’t reach from the road. The hobby that used to wait until the season’s end.

Turned into Yearbook copy:

Check out that Class President. That’s her emerging from the activity director’s office, overstuffed backpack slung over one shoulder, the stuffy mascot costume hanging over the other. Inside that canvas bag is the life she struggles to balance. The tattered school calendar that needs more than 24 hours. The looming homework assignments that keep getting pushed to another night. The reminder that 400 students need her to revive their class spirit.

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From Vitamin Water Label:

Ah, orange juice commercials. Funny stuff. Mom cheerily prepares some huge breakfast while the rest of her family sleeps. Sure, this could happen. But every morning? Please. Maybe if mom were heavily medicated, in which case, we wouldn’t condone operating a stove or any electrical appliance. For those of us who don’t live in an orange juice commercial, there’s still a way to get your morning nutrition. This product has calcium and lots of vitamin c, so you can get your day started right, minus the whole Stepford mom thing.

Turned into Yearbook copy:

Ah, Nike commercials. Crazy stuff. Football players insanely bashing their heads into each other while the fans go wild in the stands and cheerleaders perform death-defying stunts. Sure, this could happen. But every Friday night? Please. Maybe if we recruited steroid laden 16-year-olds from across the country, in which case, we wouldn’t see many games after the entire coaching staff got fired. For those of us who don’t live in a Nike commercial, there’s still St. Francis football where players are real people who get better from practice and hard work, minus the whole steroid thing.

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Now let’s be perfectly clear: we’re just talking about LEADS here. I am not suggesting that you maintain this writing through the entire copy. Not only is that ridiculous, but you would never get out all the good information about the club or season or dance. These types of leads are used to hook readers into your copy and prove that words on the pages are fun, interesting, and meant to be read.

Where else have you found good examples of writing? Where do you get your inspiration?

*This entry is part of “The Yearbook Ladies’ A to Zs of Yearbook”
project. If you’d like to download the “L” card, go to the “Adviser
Resources” section of www.theyearbookladies.com

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